You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
