He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize