There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
