It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
