I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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