I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
