Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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