Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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(512): View more from Texas

Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.

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(435): View more from Utah

I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first

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