Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
