how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
