I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
