I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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