she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
