Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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