Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
