i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
