I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
