The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
