I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
this will be a night to untag.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
