I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
