I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
