it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i believe in u and ur pee
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
