You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Randomize
