I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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