I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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