Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
