By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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