I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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