We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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