i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
