if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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