I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
