Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize