it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
