Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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