ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
id be glad to
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
