So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
