I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
