you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
