I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
