You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
