I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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