It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can I color on your dick again?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize