Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
