Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
