Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
