hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
