You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
