Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize