No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she looked like the before picture.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
