I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
