so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
