is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
