dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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