I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
