I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize