whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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