i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
