on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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